STEP TEN: POSTING
After at least fifteen days - preferably, several dozen weeks - another conversation will take place between Evk and Wrexsoul.
At this point, WrexSoul will take several hours to update the main index page. While it seems that it should not take very long to post a picture and two paragraphs, it is, in fact, a very complicated process and it is no surprise that it often takes hours and hours, espically when Evk really needs to go to bed and has to get up in four hours. Ha ha! Just a few more minutes! Ha ha.
STEP ELEVEN: FEEDBACK PART 1
As soon as the review is posted, Evk and WrexSoul will generally pass the URL on to thier freinds and solicit comments. They are usually understandably awed by such masterpices and respond with such helpful, constructive comments like "HA" or "I don't get it" or "That sucked. Here's 800 megabytes of shitty music and links to a bunch of shitty webcomics and now I'm going to whine about how I can't find a girlfreind and then go play Half-Life because I only like first person shooters and I love you bore you with the details. Like in NOLF this scottish guy knocked me out and then I was on a boat!! Why don't you run out and get it right now?" Yeah. Shut up.
STEP TWELVE: FEEDBACK PART 2
Several days after the review is posted, feedback comes in from the general plebe population in two forms:
- Overwhelming silence
- Regular silence
Nevertheless, we diligently press forward, striving make more and better features for you, you ungrateful louts. Yeah, I slave over a hot stove for hours and what do I get in return? "Fetch me a beer, woman." That's what I get. Well, no more. You can fetch your OWN damn beer AND your slippers until you learn to say "thank you" at least once!
Your feedback is very important to us, as it helps us figure out what people want (boobs) and what people don't want (reviews with no jokes in them that people keep sending us, even though I dare say it would be hard to make it more obvious that this is a humor site). We're using the internet as a revolutionary tool! Keen!
STEP THIRTEEN: SACRIFICE PART THREE
DOOOOOO
DOO DOO DOO DOOO DOOOOOOOOOO
DOO DOO DOO DOO DOOOOOO DOOOO DOOOOOO DOOOOOOOO DOOOOO DO DOO DOO DOOOOOOO - oh, you're still here? Uh oh.
STEP FOURTEEN: I AM IMPACT!!
So there you have the entire story of how an article is written, starting and ending with furious testicle rubbing. Next time you read a bad article, instead of saying "That sucked", you can think of the delicate and complicated process that brought about that heaping pile of steamy dung. Then you can feel free to shoot yourself directly in the face. I promise it will be fun. Come on. Would these eyes lie to you?
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 Written by Evk and WrexSoul and was posted on 4-29-01.
This feature is ©2000 Nick Hammer and his cat.
evk_d@hotmail.com, you communists.
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