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 Salamando's Stove - Issue 2; March, 2000

We may not be Weapons Monthly or Combat King, but we sure have a lot more pages. Hypothetically, that is. Really we're just a bunch of nerds who drive around all day, picking up loose women and making video game jokes, but can't you glean more from that in the end than how to make your dog steal items at random?

Salamando's Stove back for its second month of publication. Yet more jokes, more exposure, and yes, more poon. It helps if you don't think of it all too literally. It seems that this last month has just breezed on past us, and already its time for yet another installment. This month is an endless trans-dimensional time-slip of articles, reviews, and fun and interesting quizzes! We apologize with the delay that we've had in releasing all the content of the previous issue, and rest assured that we'll get that taken care of ASAP.

Things have been very busy around EvkWrex Productions lately. As of last week, Evk has officially announced that he is running for President of the United States of America. He will most certainly take the Nerdish Fundamentalism ticket and certainly will become the forerunner for the Nerdish Fundamentalistic Party. Vote for EVK in Y2K. We expect that the attention drawn by this will be a very good promotion for our causes, and ultimately good for our world domination schemes. Support us by signing up and by voting pro-nerd for the white house!

As always, the Stove is being brought to you by your local friendly Evk and WrexSoul, edited by Ramen Broth Man, and produced by the $10 million check we got from selling the tape of cops beating a 20 foot-tall face up. We promise to deliver our consistnatly mediocre-quality humor on an underground forum, and all for the reasonable price of FREE. Yes, all the hmong, all the hoohah, all the Reina jokes, all free. So what is there to lose? Sign up below, and our trained spies will H4X N2 UR C0MPu+3R D00d, stealing your credit card number and mailing address so we can abuse you monthly.

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A standard physics equation is r = (m v)/(q B). So if you want to increase the radius, you can either decrease the magnetic field or charge on the particle, or increase the mass or velocity! The Hmongbeat move makes no use of this, instead just concentrating on bashing people's heads in!


Remember, use it for a good cause, okay?!

Either way, when you whine at someone, they let their defenses down. So as long as you keep whining at them, they have no way to block against the mighty wrath of other people! Wouldn't it be nice to teach your Evk to whine at people for you? Well, that's why we've created the Tetra-whine move! Remember, walk with your Evk to teach him new tricks!

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Written by Wrexsoul and posted on 02-24-00.
This feature is 2000 Zach Francks.

Salamando's Stove is all a big ol' 1999-2000 Zach Francks and Nick Hammer.