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 Salamando's Stove - Issue 3; Apr, 2000

Join an exciting and frightening journey to Salamando's Stove, a land that is the lowest common denominator of video game humor. It's strange, weird, even wacky, but what exactly is it? Well, we sure as hell don't know, but we seem to put it out every month or so. And unlike other so-called videogame Web-zines, we actually have issue covers! So top that, fatty!

It's finally the third run-through of the magazine, and we're once again lagging on our releases. This hypothetically should have been out late last month, but who cares, we got it done, didn't we? So leave me alone or I'll sick SadBot on you! Or you can sign up below and recieve a loving care-package to your face filled with saucy wit, plenty of bonus material, and exclusive photos of Evk in a tigerskin speedo! Unless you don't want to see that, in which case there isn't.

Things have finally been going, and the ball is rolling now, gaining momentum faster than ever. We provide more content than any other video game site that I visit, which isn't saying much! Also, we have more humor than any other video game site I've made! I can make even more self-proving claims if you want, but why not see for yourself so I can stop ranting here? Or better yet, you can view the rest of this site!

This month, we'd like to give you a little behind-the scenes look at the actual production of Salamando's Stove. First, we take 10,000 starving immigrants and put them in a room playing English instructional tapes. Then we make them attempt to translate old science manuscripts. The funniest transrations get picked at random by Jonesy, our pet pidgeon. These are strung together automatically by NewsletterBot, another of Evk's creations. Meanwhile, we sit and play Capcom games and bitch about life to each other! All this is done with loving care until you get the finished product you see now, a complete Salamando's Stove issue.

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Here is an example of the diverse gameplay and superb graphics blah blah blah. See, we have screenshots too! Fight WrexMan! For Everlasting Mad Skillz!

Those are some nifty graphics! Draw Out! Join Up! And other random shoutings! I don't really know why I decided to include this besides "just because."

Isn't this pretty? Answer: Yes. Because it is. Too bad you really don't get to see Chirijiraden very often, but I guess that would make sense. Assuming you can find a Chirijiraden at all.

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Written by WrexSoul and posted on 02-24-00.
This feature is 2000 Zach Francks.

Salamando's Stove is all a big ol' 1999-2000 Zach Francks and Nick Hammer.