ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ ,-¨-. ___________________________________________________ _____ |¨-¨| /¨.-------------------------------------------------.`\ _=¨_____¨=_ | || Sal Stove Mar Bonus! Cost: 250 GP || / /¨|¨|¨\ \ | || Got Sword Orb! || \_ \_|_|_/ _/=| || Salamando's Stove March Issue Addendum 4: || / ¨=_______=¨ \ || || |_ ¨¨¨¨¨ _| || The Mystical Magic that is Boontibs || ( ¨==_//¨¨/\\_--¨ ) || || |¨...||(=O||_==¨| \`._________________________________________________.'/ //¨¨\\\__\// / `---------------------------------------------------¨ ||//__ ¨¨¨¨¨__\\ h t t p : / / w w w . s a l a m a n d o . n e t \\ ¨¨¨¨¨/\ `\¨| /\ \¨\ /¨/ /\ \¨\ ||`|--. ... // .==. \\ //\\ || //\\ | \ / | //\\ | \ || ||¨\\ //¨\\ //¨¨\\ \\ ||__|| || ||__|| ||\\//|| ||__|| ||\\ || || || || || \`--. __ || ||--|| || ||--|| |#### |#####-||###| \#| |# ##### || _`¨¨.\ \\__// || || ||__/ || || #| || #| |# ||# #| |#_/# \\_// \\__// ---- -- -- ----- -- -- -### -- #- -# --# #- -#- ### --- `--¨ # # # # # # # #### # ### # ##### ___________________________________________________________________________ ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ The Prehistory of Boontibs ___________________________________________________________________________ ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ The scene opens as Evk is trying to console me. I was having a bad time and so he gives me some of his new invention. WrexSoul: GJAL:KGL:KAJGL:KLAKL"AF"LSKG"LAKFASDGL"KAH"LKAL "KLS"K"LAKGL"KAG"LKAJ"LFKSDAL"FAL"GKL"SDAL"KLS" L"AKAL"KGL"KJGL"KSGLKJDGL" (calms down slowly) Evk: There there. Have a boontib WrexSoul: boontib? Evk: (feeds you one) WrexSoul: (chew chew) WTF is a boontib? Evk: Squid, butter, garlic, poon, lysol, echo grass and plastic in one yummy snack. WrexSoul: { : | { : { Ĥ : I (runs to bathroom, pukes) Evk: HEY! You'd better not miss the tiolet (threat) WrexSoul: (puke puke puke flush puke puke puke) Ĥ : { { : | >: ( Okay, time for a shitbeating for that one! Evk: Uh oh (RUN) WrexSoul: Yeah you BETTER fucking run! >: ( { : ( Ĥ : { (run, puke puke puke) Evk: (eats BarBQ boontib) [Evk's Speed + 30!!!] (runs an ungodly distance) WrexSoul: How did you get Speed +30? Mmmmm maybe the flavor effects it (puke) (puts on the Devour command) Evk: Uh oh (eats Sour Cream boontib) (Evade goes to 255%) ___________________________________________________________________________ Recepies for Boontibs ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ So once, there was the guy who was eating a boontib, and he was like "Wow this is great, can I have the recepie?" So the Evk who was serving him, said "I can't just give it to you, but I could sell it to you for two-fifty." Then the WrexSoul was like "Okay," but ended up equipping Devour and eating the Evk anyways. Oh well. Boontibs have varying effects depending on the ingredients. Construction is similar, mix dry ingredients, add poon, bake until edible. Basic boontib: Squid, butter, garlic, poon, lysol, echo grass and plastic Effect: Nothing BarBQ: Squid, butter, garlic, poon, lysol, echo grass, plastic and buffallo brought forward in time from 1930 Effect: Speed up Sour Cream: Squid, butter, garlic, poon, lysol, echo grass, plastic, a melted maid's outfit, and a whole sacred cow. Effect: Maxes out Evade Cool Ranch: Squid, butter, garlic, poon, lysol, echo grass, plastic, three hairs plucked from the head of Jay Leno Effect: Maxes out Speed. Crazi Cherri: Squid, butter, garlic, poon, lysol, echo grass, plastic, a hooker named Cherri Tart, the first three Ranma 1/2 mangas Effect: Maxes out strength and Hit. Crazy Grape: Squid, butter, garlic, poon, lysol, echo grass, plastic, pure potential Effect: Maxes out Spirit, Magic, and MP. Professor McQuarterlysale's Boontib of Justice: Squid, butter, garlic, poon, lysol, echo grass, plastic, hot wax, cloth, a little paper Effect: Maxes out HP and Stamina Organic boontib: Squid, butter, garlic, poon, lysol, echo grass, plastic, cactuar spines, a tree, farm-aid Effect: Maxes out Luck Zonky Zodiac Monster: Squid, butter, garlic, poon, lysol, echo grass, plastic, Hasmalum, melted-down Ragnarok Effect: Add Reraise, Regen, Protect, Shell, Haste Wicker: Squid, butter, garlic, poon, lysol, echo grass, plastic, a clothes hamper, David Copperfield Effect: Gives all elemental defense Seppu-orange: Only shame Effect: Die Beri Beri Bluberri: Squid, butter, garlic, poon, lysol, echo grass, plastic, the soul of a schoolgirl Effect: Take a bite and throw it, and it will explode with the power of several hundred cobalt-cored nuclear weapons Razzledazzelberry: Squid, butter, garlic, poon, lysol, echo grass, plastic, sheep fat, roman genius Effect: Eat it, sing "Turning japanese" and you will turn japanese. Bootib Mixer (18+ only): Squid, butter, garlic, poon, lysol, echo grass, plastic, sake, jet fuel Effect: Prevents any getting off of this train we're on, foo! MEGAEVK BOONTIB GOOD: Squid, butter, garlic, poon, lysol, echo grass, plastic, dog spit, a rib, cybergrass Effect: BECOME 180 FEET TALL! SPEAK THIRD PERSON! ALWAYS YELL! SMASH!!!! Bubblegrum fravor boontrib: Skuido, butaa, gaaric, poon, raisoru, echo gurass, purastic, poor transrations, bubbagrum Effect: Joke becomes you! ___________________________________________________________________________ Contact Information ŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻŻ WrexSoul http://salamando.2y.net/misc/wrexsoul.html wrexsoul@salamando.net ICQ: 902240 AIM: WrexSoulll (usually inactive) \/. vvv Evk X Damascus http://salamando.2y.net/misc/evk.html evk@salamando.net ICQ: 11029633 AIM: ArchEvk (always inactive, unless @ skool) Rotting in the Gulag