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MAJYUUOU or Resident Rambo Fighter: First Bloodlines of the Nemesis Alpha

So whatever happened to Rambo anyway? Last time we were blessed with a Rambo flick we saw him cauterize an abdomen wound with gunpowder, shoot down a soviet HIND with a arrow and demolish a whole army with just a knife and some duct tape. But that was way back in 1988. I'll tell you what happened to the last great hope for peace in Vietnam. He went to HELL. Yes, HELL! And I've got the pictures to prove it.

One of the best things about Japanese games is how liberally they "borrow" ideas, icons and images from other games and sources and kinda squoosh them all together and sell it in a cartrage-based format. Like those Banpresto games where Ultraman is dating Godzilla while Kamen Rider has a tizzy fit with Gundam over who gets to wear the feather boa at the club. Well, take Rambo, give him some Castlevania-like settings, give him a "charged fireball" like Ryu/Megaman, give him Resident Evil-ish zombies that get their heads blown off, give him more outfits than a drag queen doing a "one-man" show and you roughly have Majyuuou. It's all of these. It's none of these. It's surprisingly grisly for a Super Nintendo game.

Get ready to cover your kids' eyes, mothers, because enemies BLEED when you shoot them. That's right. Little splashes of blood every time your bullets connect. Personally, that's enough of a reason to get ME to play more of this game, but I can see that you readers have expectations of a higher calibre (snicker). How about the fact that you can chew on dead fairies to replenish your strength? How about seeing two horse-headed men tie your wife to a Y-shaped post and bludgeon her in the gut? ON A SPEEDING TRAIN? How about (and I still can't get over this) zombies that get their head shot off, but still shuffle toward you?

Okay, so it's not fountains of gore splashing across the screen mode-7 style but it's still the thought that counts. There's all kinds of creepy little details here and there, and it helps that the graphics are very nice indeed. GRAPHICALLY RICH I might add, the only dissapointment being that there's not enough levels, and the last few bosses are recycled from the earlier stages (BOY now that's a "real trailblazer")

If you're not obsessively playing DOOM or shooting up your schoolmates in a fit of angsty fury, then give this game a bloody little stab. It boasts bloody backgrounds, remorseless fighting, and just enough of those intangible qualities that piss off womyns' activist groups (like seeing your wife beaten to death or killing chicks carrying guns). And..a touching, heartfelt ending where Daddy Rambo and his daughter come to grips with the fact that they are now mutant freaks spurned by Earth and the Underworld (happy endings like this always make me cry). Do us all a favor and send Rambo to Hell.


GRAPHICS: Better than standard sidescrolling fare, but the blood really does it for me.
4.5 stoves

SOUND: The music is not quite as epic and soul-stirring as Castlevania, but you likely won't turn the volume off either.
3.5 stoves

CONTROL: You duck. You jump. You shoot. Hold down fire to charge a shot.
2.5 stoves

THEME: Shit, usually it's the Genesis titles that have bite like this.
4.5 stoves

HOMOEROTIC CONTENT: Not much. Half a stove for the sweaty horse men. Another half if Rambo turns you on.
0.5-1 stove

UNRELATED/SO HOW BADLY DOES DRAGON VALOR SUCK?: Can stoves go into the negative values?



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Written by Cali-X and posted on 3-15-01.
This article is 2001 Calvin LaMont.

Salamando's Stove is all a big ol' 1999-2000-2001-3986 Zach Francks and Nick Hammer.