 Boobs |  |
  I just thought I would post an update to point out that we like boobs. Yes, sir, wether it's just a pair of bosoms beneath a shirt or full-blown frontal nudity, we sure enjoy boobs of all stripes. Also I'm posting this instead of an article. Haha.
Posted by WrexSoul on 08-18-31
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Character Map Review | |
  Man, I can't belive I wasted my time with this! I mean, I've just seen this all before, you know? Bad graphics, horrible play control, and that funny smell. Geez what's with that smell? But, as a selfless reviewer, thus is my bane.
READ THE REST OR I WILL KILL YOUR CHILDREN
Reviewed by Evk and posted by WrexSoul on 08-15-31
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Another Apology | |
 I'm sorry we were gone so long. We're back now! We were down for a while because I had to go and drink myself silly, because in Oklahoma there's really nothing else to do except fuck your family members and drive a truck. Sure, Evk was around, but since I'm the only one who can post, joke = you.
Posted by WrexSoul (oh yeah) on 08-14-31
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ARTICLE: PLAYSTATION = GAYSTATION | |
DUDE THE PLAYSTATION SI GAY. LIKE IF YOU PLAY IT YOUR GAY BECAUSE NINTNEO IS LIKE SO COOL. SO YOU PLAY PLAYSTAITON AND YOUR GAY BECAUSE IT CAN BE GAYSTATION. HAHAH! UR NOT ABLE TO PLAY ZELDA64 ON GAYSTATION CAN YOU? NO OR GOLDENEYE OR MARIO64 OR PILOTWINGS64 OR SUPER SMASHBROTHERS OR MARIO KART^4!!
Read on or I will crack open your head and feast upon the sweet goo therein.
Written by SOOPERSAYAJIN4GOKUNEOSEPHIROTHDEATH-X and Posted by ME (WrexSoul) on 07-31-31
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The Dream Will Not Die | |
 So today I was sitting around thinking "Boy! I really need to post something!" and so I went out and found this nifty little feature javascript toy-thing I made 3 years ago. It has nothing to do with the Stove or video games but too bad! FACE UP!
The ressurection of Lord Dracula has begun! He has come to cleanse this world in the searing flames of choas!
Posted by Evk on 07-28-31. Just kidding, this was posted by WrexSoul too.
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Dragonball Z Super Final Death Saiyajin Tournament Complete | |
 Even though this game sucks, I love it. The guys look just like Dragonball guys! I mean their hair, their outfits, even their moves look just like they were taken from the Dragonball Z TV series! Sure, the controls, scenery, layout, sound, and gameplay are horrible, but I love it! I payed $300 dollars to import it!
Click here! The dark lord commands it!
Posted on 07-22-31
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Even More Message Madness | |
 So I was thinking, I should post something, but I'm too lazy to do anything and Evk is out with his girlfriend, so I just dug around in my message history and found this horribly embarassing and unfunny chunk. Here it is!
OH YEAH! OH RIGHT IN MY ASS! OH GOD IT FEELS SO GOOD
Posted on 07-20-31
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Rinoa Sux | |
I know we've already talked about FF8 past the point of saturation, but it's the only game I've played for the last three months, so you get to hear about it again. Boy! Rinoa is a bitch! Ha!
I'll slit you open from groin to gullet!
Written by Evk and posted on 07-14-31
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We Got Booted off Free Homestead Zoom City | |
 The link http://www.freehomesteadzoomcity.salamando.ass/~users/~pfrancks/basehref/sal/sal/index.html no longer works, because Free Homestead Zoom City kicked us off after we wrote "And, yea, I will then taketh the maintainers of Free Homestead Zoom City, and, yea, I will eateth thier flesh, and, yea, drinketh of thier blood, and cheweth of thier bones." Fuckers! You fuckers fucking fuck! Our new URL is http://www.freehomesteadzoomcity.salstove.ass/~users/~wrex/basehref/salstove/salamando/index.html. Use it or Selphie will rip your head off and use it as a sexual aid.
Posted by Rockman & Bass on 07-10-31
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Salamando's Stove - Issue 28591 | |
 Join in an exciting journey to the land of 26 kilobytes of us wasting your time ranting about things you don't care about and have nothing to do with you! Action! Excitement! The possibility of posting something naked or naked-related or a review of things with nakedness! Topped off with shitty ASCII art and only comes out monthly, like it takes a month to write a paragraph about inside jokes.
And, yea, I will then taketh the maintainers of Free Homestead Zoom City, and, yea, I will eateth thier flesh, and, yea, drinketh of thier blood, and cheweth of thier bones.
Posted on 07-05-30
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Miracle Girls Snuff Porn Theme Added | |
 Joining the default theme, the megaman theme, the angry lesbian theme, and the tetris attack theme comes the Miracle Girls Snuff Porn theme! Now you can have the Stove buttons and icons be Tomomi and Mikage dying and fucking. Upon questioning Evk had this to say: "This is great! Great I say! I will always use this as my default theme! You will too! You will or, so help me, I will send thousands of screaming robots to your house and they will move in with you and eat your food and tie up your phone lines downloading me hentai!"
Prepare for a viscious probing with the aid of hard black rubber
Posted by WrexSoul on 07-01-00
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On Trial: Mario Party Mini-Games | |
 Rarely the question is asked, "Are our children learning?" With games like this, I bet they learn that Mario Party sucks.
Click this link, or I will track you down and over a period of days torture you until you beg me for the sweet release of grim death.
Santa touched me where a bathing suit covers.
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Summoners Interview the Rotting Corpse of George Washington | |
 Hi! I'm WrexSoul and even though I didn't write this article, Evk didn't write an opening for it! What a dipshit! I think that's long enough.
Yeah, oh, that's right - suck it, girly! Oh yeah! I love it! Put more of it in your mouth you little bitch!
null pointer
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FuSoYa Fully Clothed | |
 Since I have MAD SKILLZ and I love to repeat it even after the joke's tired and lame, I took an image of FuSoYa naked and edited it so his balls no longer flap in the breeze.
DADDY'S SCRUBBING MY MOUTH OUT WITH SOMETHING
84kxnskź™4113z™†%
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Super Manga Adult Female Hentai Blast ROM Vol 28 | |
 Oh boy! Another hentai game! This one is great! You click the button and you see NAKED WOMEN!!! OH man! This is a LOT cooler than sunday school! FIVE STOVES!
When you touch yourself, Baby Jesus cries.
This is possibly the most offensive thing we've ever done.
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The Stove Abandons Link Section | |
 Link pages suck. They're all lame. Nothing but worthless links to sites that you don't want to go to that there is no quality assurance for because ALL OF THEM SUCK! GOD DAMN I HATE LINKS! Fuck them! FUCK YOU LINKS! I SPIT ON YOU!
At least we can make fun of ourselves with good humor
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Minute Review - Tetris | |
 This is an interesting "puzzle game" released by Bulletproof Software. "Pieces" fall from the top of the "screen". You need to "arrange" these "pieces" into "lines" that stretch all the way across the "screen". When you form a "line", the "pieces" vanish and you get "points". You can go up to higher "difficultly levels", which make the "pieces" fall faster.
I will beat you to death. JUST TRY ME
Is this tasteless enough for you?
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The Stove Starts Link Section | |
 I think that like, links are like cool and stuff? Because, you know, links like make the internet, uh, like WORK. So I think that, uh, mabye links work? Yeah, so I think we should have links like to all the other video game sites. All the other kids have links pages. =-(
Hoozuh
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Floating Satan Added | |
 ow in addition to floating Salamando, there's floating Satan! The loveable dark lord will float on your screen and shout random sayings like "When I return from my exile beneath the earth, Jesus will be my weak, pitiful bitch!". You can also play Guess Who with him! When you guess who it's a mystery!
Click here to activate Satan
Are you laughing yet?
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Salamando's Stove Turns 1 Year Old | |
 You figured us out. This is really just a big chance at us to make fun of some of the stuff we've done in the past year. As of Aug. 6, 2000, Salamando's Stove is 1 year old. So, grab a glass of sake and join in us, as we celebrate 1 year of tasteless, classless, video game humor.
Kampaii!
Okay that's all. Go to the real index.
Go on, get out of here
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Salamando's Stove Issue 28365
