| Full Name: | Evk X Damascus |
| Nickname(s): | Evk X Damascus |
| Siblings: | My three sisters, one of whom is unbeliveably nice, one of whom is a money-grubbing scumbag, and one of whom is a bitchy flat ho. |
| Hair color: | Dark dark dark dark blue. Turning green in the front, sniff sniff. |
| Eye color: | I have mood eyes. They change with the phase of the moon, my mood, my body heat, and wether or not I'm being sodomized. |
| Height: | Taller than you, shorty. |
| Attitude: | Bored, grumpy |
| Any other screen names: | Evk. Really. |
| Birthday: | The dawn of humanity |
| Birthplace: | The basement |
| Where you live now: | The basement, still |
| Age: | About 30 million |
| School: | Neo Evk City's Children's Creche |
| Grade: | I lost them |
| Enemies: | Basement rats |
| Funniest person you know: | Those guys. Who wear shoes. C'mon - you know who I mean. |
| Best girl friends: | I think my cat really likes me |
| Best guy friends: | Sometimes a big flaming mass of pain and suffering talks to me. |
| What would you like to be when you grow up: | Deity |
| Where would you like to live when you grow up: | Neo Kasumi Handjob |
| |
| HAVE YOU EVER |
| |
| Done drugs: | Drain-o |
| Smoked: | I acciently lit myself on fire once. Also, Drain-o. |
| Drank: | Windex, accidently. I'd drink Drain-o if it was possible. |
| Kissed: | Once I kissed a dog. BUT I OBJECTED CONSTANTLY. Anyways, the dog gave me a clone of myself, after I killed this guy who had my face. |
| Stayed up all night: | Yes, yes, a thousand times YES |
| Been in love: | To fictional characters, yes |
| Lied: | Only to protect my young |
| Cheated on someone: | I cheated at Alpha Centauri once, and I'd do it again! |
| Stole: | SOUL STEAL! |
| Played strip poker: | Yes - but it was with my computer, and I always won, and it only has three panels to take off. Also, it gets a little cranky when it loses. |
| Watched I love lucy: | Only to gather information so I could execute a brutal gangland assasination. |
| |
| When was the last time you thrown a party (not a birthday party, a real party): | I got some rats together and made them worship me as thier unholy god a few days ago. |
| What is the farthest you have ever been from your home: | Hades |
| What is the farthest you have ever been from your home without your parents: | Hades |
| What was the first thing you thought when you got up: | OW |
| |
| DATING |
| |
| Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend: | I did, but they went missing in my oven |
| How far have you gone: | I almost got married, but Lum shot me with a RPG |
| Have you ever cheated on anyone: | I cheated at Alpha Ce-... didn't we cover this? |
| Have you ever dated a friend's old mate: | If I had freinds, I would have. Sniff. |
| How far would you go on a 1st date: | As far as possible, unless it's to a trailer. Or inside an oven. That's where I draw the line. |
| Have you had sex: | With my hands or in my dreams |
| |
| FAVORITES |
| |
| Color: | Black, as black as something bad |
| Favorite names for a girl or boy: | Evk, Avk, uh, Ævk |
| Favorite sport: | Does Alpha Centauri count? |
| Favorite sports team: | The Nerds. You know, the one with ArchNerd Nicchan. |
| Favorite season: | The cold one |
| Favorite food: | Chinese whores, with green stuff. I think it's really strong mustard. |
| Favorite kind of music: | Salamando Radio |
| Favorite singer or band: | Whoever's on Salamando Radio |
| Favorite soft drink: | Water with a little poon in it |
| Favorite alcohol drink: | Quistis poon with a squeeze of gin |
| Favorite holiday: | Evk Day, where you must bow and worship me, or perish in flames. Celebrating in Neo Evk City now! |
| Favorite car: | Nissan Altima. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA |
| Favorite movies: | The one with the guys who wear shoes in it |
| Favorite actor: | Bon Bon Bizzaro |
| Favorite actress: | That chick who shows her boobs. Y'know. |
| Favorite brand of clothing: | Anything with a cartoon pig on it |
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| Where do you see yourself in 7 years: | The unquestioned ruler of humanity |
| What was the best time you had in your life: | I almost got married once! (see above) |
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| FOR GIRLS (Filled out by Avk, my female clone) |
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| What do you look for in a guy: | Outlandish hair, clear skin |
| Who do you like: | Evk |
| Who do you hate: | Face, Bloogh |
| What is the first thing that attracts you to a guy: | No zits and weird hair |
| Best smile: | Mine |
| Sexiest: | Those guys who wear shoes |
| Worst thing about guys: | They're harder to beat up |
| Turn-Ons: | Outlandish hair, clear skin |
| Turn-Offs: | Having a remote controll all the time with annoying buttons on it (such as suck-off) |
| What kinda clothes do you like guys to wear?: | Anything with a cartoon pig on it |
| Do you like guys hair short or long: | Outlandish |
| Do you want guys to have earrings/tattoos: | No, on pain of death |
| Boxers or Briefs: | Either one, as long as they have HOME OF THE BOKKEN written on them. mmm, classy |
| Experience or Inexperience: | Outlandish hair, clear skin |
| Funny or sexy: | Outlandish hair, clear skin |
| Describe the perfect guy for you: | Outlandish hair, clear skin, a three-letter name |
| |
| FOR GUYS |
| |
| What do you look for in a girl: | Outlandish hair, big cans |
| What usually is the first thing that attracts you to a girl: | Outlandish hair, big cans |
| Braw or pantese: | Spell-check |
| Experienced or inexperienced: | Outlanish hair, big cans |
| Earrings or tattoos: | Neither |
| Turn ons: | Outlandish hair, big cans |
| Turn offs: | Running me over, shooting me, stuffing me in an oven, beating me up |
| Long hair or short hair: | Outlandish dammit! |
| Thong or string: | Spell-check |
| What kinda clothes do you like girls to wear: | Anything with cartoon pigs on it |
| Describe the perfect girl for you: | Outlandish hair, big cans |
| |
| DO YOU PREFER |
| |
| Coke or Pepsi: | Dr. Pepper |
| Sprite or 7-up: | Dr. Pepper |
| Money, cash, or hos: | Dr. Pepper |
| Black or white: | Dr. Pepper |
| Short hair or Long hair: | Outlandish |
| Blonde or Brunettes: | Outlandish |
| Flowers or stars: | Tits |
| Comedy or Drama: | Tits |
| DMX or Jay-z: | Niether. Soon they will beg me for the sweet release of death. |
| Action or Horror: | Tits |
| Usher or Ma$E: | Uh, tits? |
| Blue or Green: | Blue |
| Roller coasters: | No |
| Brandy or Monica: | Uh |
| Lauryn Hill or Shania Twain: | Uhh |
| Cherry Poppin Daddies or Brian Setzer Orchestra: | Uhhhhhhh |
| Cats or Dogs: | Little black pigs |
| Horses or Cows: | Little black pigs |
| Swing or Line Dancing: | Death before either. Jeeves, my wakizashi |
| |
| DO YOU BELIEVE IN |
| |
| God: | Yes, for I am He. |
| Ghosts: | Only when they're activly groping me |
| Aliens: | Not unless they're beaming signals into my brain again |
| Devil: | Yes, for I am He. |
| Heaven?: | If I'm God, Heaven is my house, right? |
| Hell: | If I'm Satan, Hell is my house, right? |
| Santa: | Yes, for I am He. |
| Ouija Boards: | Tits |
| Fortune Tellers: | Are they outlandish? |
| |
| WHO... |
| |
| Has the best eyes: | Me |
| Has the best hair: | Me |
| Has the best smile: | Me |
| Has the cutest ears: | Me |
| Has the best body: | Me |
| Has the best legs: | Me |
| Always has a smile on their face: | Terra |
| Has the best personality: | Me |
| Is the prettiest: | Me |
| Is the sexiest: | Me |
| Is the sluttiest: | Avk, but don't tell her I said that |
| Is the shyest: | Me |
| Is the biggest spaz: | Me |
| Is the nicest: | Me |
| Has the biggest mouth: | Me. Or Mouth. |
| Is the weirdest: | Me |
| Is the richest: | Me, or Carbunkle. He knows how to invest! |
| |
| WHO HAS... |
| |
| Hurt you the most: | Altima |
| Made you the happiest: | Myself (Avk is close second) |
| Kissed you: | The maid, but it was only on the cheek. Avk, but we had three kids too. |
| Complimented you the most: | Myself |
| Asked you for the most favors: | WrexSoul |
| Asked you out: | WrexSoul and my CD-R drive |
| Pissed you off the most: | XOOM |
| |
| MOST LIKELY TO.... |
| |
| Succeed: | Tits |
| Be a lesbian: | Tits |
| Be a model: | Myself |
| Be a comedian: | Me |
| Be a lawyer: | I |
| Be a doctor: | Nick Rivera |
| Be famous: | Myself |
| Be a stripper: | Me |
| Be a president: | Me, of course |
| Be a singer: | Nobody I know. Wait, does it have to be good? WrexSoul. |
| Be a dancer: | WrexSoul, the friendly wraith |
