• Nothing gets a game started with a bang like screen after screen of boring text.
• Of course, none of this ever has any significance on the game itself. Oops!
• You asleep yet?
• "Sure, I might drive a huge death robot, but at home I'm just a normal painter." Weirdo.
• Look, it's Air Fei. I wish I could jump three times my own height straight up.
• It's the almost-black caped man! Never mind, you just missed him.
• Can we say "Foreshadowing?"
• Little does Fei know he's about to be taken out by the Mafia.
• Unable to cope with living in a backwater village, Fei commits suicide down the well. Get Lassie!
• Sadly, Alice was crushed in a text box.
• Double text box syndrome. This happens a LOT in the game, and it gets really annoying because the boxes go away before you can read both boxes.
• You can tell she wants me.
• She wants me soo bad. Break her off a piece of Fei lovin' action.
• Yep. It's the overworld. Excited yet?
• Someone broke the game! Yaaaay! ... No wait, it's just a battle. BOOOO.
• Poh! Tah! Huh! Yeeeeaaaaaa---do! Soi!
• Fei marks his territory (in this case, the wolf's head).
• Hey, look. A peaceful town getting burned down! Surprise!
• Citan shows off his Yelling pose. It looks even stupider with his mouth moving.
• "Hi, I'm weltall! When I'm not crushing cities, I like to relax at home with a book and some hot choclate. Big kisses to all my fans! (Heart!)"
• Watch some intense mech-to-mech action. (Note: The previous words were lies: "Intesne", "Mech", "Action")
• "And I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your gear down!"

So there you have it. Thrilling, no? Someone get me a new pair of underwear. Please.

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Written by Evk and posted on 04-26-00.
This article is ©2000 Nick Hammer.
evk_d@hotmail.com