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 Summoner's Stove

So, we were supposed to do some shitty interview three weeks ago. Evk even wrote stupid questions for us like "Where does food go? (point to mouth)." We showed up, not out of duty or anything, but because you can only make so much money unless you want to sell handjobs on the street corner. Which Ironside does amazingly well.

Hey! I'd argue you if I weren't critically wounded by the truth!

Anyway, after a week of hearing nothing from Evk, we hoped for the best and came to check it out.

With any luck, maybe he died in a boating accident. Or at least was left with nothing but his face and little wheels.

WrexSoul seems to be gone too, probably luring kids into his van or kicking puppies or leaving gum stuck on the undersides of desks. I hate that.

Isn't it rather... convenient- that Evk and WrexSoul always disappear at the same time?

Yeah, I bet they're making a little like this:

HA, that's what I was thinking. Wait, let me fix that up-

HA HA. Just like that!

So what should we do, if we're not going to interview "The old guy from Zelda?" Man, like THAT joke hasn't been done to tears. OH HO! HE SAID "MASTER USING IT AND YOU CAN HAVE THIS!" JUST LIKE IN THE GAME. ISN'T THAT HEELARIOUS?!

Right. Well - what should we do?

I could sort of go for buying a two-person bicycle. I get to sit in the front.

Well... How about we change the layout and see if anyone notices?

Or maybe we can actually interview someone INTERESTING. Like perhaps Ramuh. Or maybe Tonberry.

Right. Well, I'd much rather review a game. And do a wholesome, honest review, unlike the senseless smut that they always end up posting.

I'll help you, if nothing else, finish off this beer.


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Written by WrexSoul and posted on 10-06-01.
This article is 2001 Zach Francks.

Salamando's Stove is all a big ol' 1999-2000 Zach Francks and Nick Hammer.