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 Previews: Miracle Girls 2: Candy Apocolypse

Miracle Girls 2: Candy Apocolypse

We just got our hands on a preview copy of Miracle Girls II: Candy Apocalypse. What did we think of it? Read on! Pointless sentences are fun!

Miracle Girls II featuers all the charecters from the first Miracle Girls, and also a few new faces, including Zombor the perpetually furious zombie and Hentai Octopus, who was cut from the first game and who can only be placated by candy!

In addition, the system has been completely overhauled. Miracle Girls II uses the new "Throw candy" system, based on throwing candy. There's some other stuff too but I skipped this part of the preview disc because I wanted to see some CG to beat off to.

And what amazing CG it is! I havn't seen CG this amazing since that time when I filmed myself playing Army Men in the garage with my green army guys and my block fort! In fact, some of the CG is so realisitic, you have a hard time telling if it's actually Mikage or a bloated, poorly-renered mass of blurry pixels! Thank you, Takara, for making something so amazing that I can talk about it when I run out of other things to say, because god knows if I had to actually write something insightful or relevenat I'd be exposed as the poorly-educated monkey I am. CG = KEWL!!

As for the other, non-CG aspects of the game, the story appears to be a classic throw-candy-and-save-two-anonymous-boys tale in the grand tradition of, uh, Miracle Girls 1. Even though I was only playing a unfinished version, that's not going to stop me from saying the story will be epic and breathtaking and lush and whatever other words I can look up in this thesaurus my mom got me in the hopes I'd take an intrest in writing instead of perpetual masterbation.

So even though the game won't be out for eight months and will most likely never see this side of the Pacific, I'm going to taunt you mercilessly with some screenshots I took in between ejaculating on my controller. 10 or so blurry pictures is just what will add a finishing touch to this completely shitty preview. I bet you can't wait for this game now!

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Written by Wrexsoul and Evk and posted on 03-04-01.
This article is 2001 Nick Hammer and Zach Francks.
Evk@salamando.net WrexSoul@salamando.net

Salamando's Stove is all a big ol' 1999-2000 Zach Francks and Nick Hammer.