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 Salamando's Stove - News (Issue 7, Feb 2001)
News: Video Game Makers Report Sales in 2000!
Video game makers released a report on Monday, noting to everyone's shock that video games were sold in 2000. One spokseman, speaking on condition of anonymity, said "I thought we weren't going to sell any, but apparently I was wrong." Experts are baffled by the unexpected trend and are stuffing their heads back up their asses for the 2001 predictions.

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People Still Actually Giving A Shit About the Game Boy
Amazingly, people still give a shit about the Game Boy and its billion and a half spinoffs, despite the fact that it is more than ten years old. Someone was probably avialable for comment, but I'm too busy previewing Japan-only games and rubbing the fact that you'll never get to play them in your face. Hahahahaha.

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Garden Slug Z Packaging Defect
An obscure company that is losing $41,000 every fiscal quarter announced that thier game "Garden Slug Z" accidently shipped with a packaging defect. The game's case, instruction manual, and the CD itself all identify it as "Mega Man X6". Capcom's reaction through an offical spokseman was "I think Duff McWhalen is a cool name. COOL links are fun."

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Evk's Naughty Adventures Stragegy Guide
Because we get paid to write strategy guides for people too stupid to check the much better-written ones at Gamefaqs, we've completed a guide to Evk's Naughty Adventure. While you might call this just an excuse for our managing editor to give his wife's chronically masturbating nephew a job, that's never stopped us before!

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Watch Us Be Pretentious and Lord Our Pocketstation
Since we're looking for an excuse to mention that we payed $50 for a Pocketstation and we think that just makes us the coolest people ever to touch the Earth, we've written up a guide that contains handy information such as "Your Pocketstation works best when it has a battery in it".

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Written by Wrexsoul and Evk and posted on 03-04-01.
This article is 2001 Nick Hammer and Zach Francks.
Evk@salamando.net WrexSoul@salamando.net


 
Salamando's Stove is all a big ol' 1999-2000 Zach Francks and Nick Hammer.